The enjoyment of any car relies on various factors. If it is going to fully satisfy, it needs to be kind to as many of the human senses as possible. It’s got to look good to please the eyes. It’s got to feel good to please your sense of touch. It’s got to… well smell and taste we’ll leave unless you have a certain criteria that we shouldn’t delve too far into here and are probably more suited to discuss with a therapist. Finally, and for a lot of car enthusiasts most importantly, it has to sound good to please the ears.
It is the final decision maker and the cherry on top of the cake to whether you can fall in love with a car. It is such a powerful factor that it can even make you like ugly cars. So when a manufacturer has ticked every other box and then falls short on how the car sounds, it is an even bigger blow.
It has caused a bit of an argument in the Goodwood Road & Racing offices as to whether some of the cars on this list are deserving or rather undeserving of being on this list, but I’ll take the criticism and I stand by the final picks. One little disclaimer is that being on this list doesn’t make them a bad car, more of a ‘what could have been’ situation.
We’re kicking off the list with a bit of an easy target. The introduction of diesels into Le Mans was always going to be a controversial decision for racing fans. The engine note of standard diesels on public roads is not one that gets many car enthusiasts excited. The low rumble and drone is not something you’d want to hear from any performance car, let alone a V12 racing engine.
The Audi R10 TDI certainly ticks the boxes for look and feel, but that diesel V12 ruins what could have been an all-time great. Arguably 36 wins in 48 races puts it in that category anyway, but not in this list. You can take your incredibly successful formula and leave it in 2006 thanks. A wonderful piece of engineering? Undoubtedly yes. An engine note that sends a tingle down your spine? Undoubtedly no. You can dominate the track Audi, but you can’t dominate our hearts.
Just to be crystal clear, the Renault Clio V6 is one of my all-time favourite cars. The courage to follow through with an idea to bring a racing car to the road can only be commended. Thankfully, the R&D team turned off all their emails, set their phones to voicemail and flat-out ignored the accountancy department and proceeded with production of a 3.0-litre engine shoved in the back of their popular little hatchback.
There are other non-redeeming factors to the Clio V6, namely its determination to kill anyone who drives it in the wet… or dry for that matter, and its slight lack of speed seeing as it’s based on a racing car. However, the biggest disappointment is the fact that the engine doesn’t have an absolutely bonkers soundtrack to match the design. With a V6 positioned just behind your ears, you’d expect it to sound like Thor gargling half of the ScrewFix catalogue. Unfortunately, it doesn’t quite live up to expectations. It’s just a monumental letdown.
The early Mazda MX-5s were fantastic cars. They were an affordable option for entry into the ‘performance’ sector for many. I do say ‘performance’ lightly as they barely had enough poke to pull the skin off a stone-cold custard, but they were a joy to drive thanks to their direct handling and rear-wheel-drive setup.
The MX-5 did have two engines to choose from and anyone that tells you the smaller 1.6-litre engine is better than the 1.8-litre in any way is just not trustworthy. In this list, we are focussing on the sonorous aspect and even though the 1.8-litre doesn’t have a great engine note itself, the 1.6-litre is the weaker of the two. You may be enjoying open-air motoring and wonderfully responsive handling, but you won’t be thrilled when you put your foot down.
It is more of ‘what could have been’ rather than outright disappointment, but if the MX-5’s engine had been a V6 from the factory, we may have had motoring perfection.
After a 10-year wait following the launch of the 2005 Ford GT, we were presented with an incredible looking successor that promised to take on the very best supercars. The 2005 model had a powerful and brutal 5.4-litre supercharged V8 that burbled like a V8 should. It would easily feature fairly high on the antithesis of this list. So when Ford announced that the 2016 Ford GT would have a 3.5-litre EcoBoost V6, it was met with a mixed reception.
The twin-turbocharged EcoBoost V6 certainly didn’t lack any power. It produces 656PS (482kW) and 756Nm (550lb ft) of torque which certainly lives up to the supercar status. However, it fell rather flat on the soundtrack. The higher-pitched V6 will have its fans, but when you look at the body and think of the old 5.4-litre V8, you can only wonder what could have been if Ford had slotted a similarly thunderous V8 into the new car.
Good technically though the engines are, there’s another entry that features an EcoBoost engine: the Mustang. Again, if you’re going to slot the engine like that into an iconic model, you’re going to get some criticism. The Mustang has recently had a change of image as it has been given the complete EV makeover in the form of the Mustang Mach E, but back in 2015, it was still in the muscle car category plain and simple.
In its engine range, Ford still had a selection of V8s and a V6 to keep the traditionalists happy. However, the 2.3-litre four-cylinder was the one that grabbed the headlines. It raised the question, can a muscle car have this sized engine and still be called a muscle car? No, is the answer. The rest of the range sounded as you’d expect, but then you have this tiny engine wheezing its way through the rev range with nothing but a turbo whoosh and incredibly lacklustre exhaust note.
You may have been expecting this one, and yes I know an EV is an easy target, but a Tesla is a car, so it can live with the criticism. And while I’ve picked on Tesla, this can be said for any EV. If you’re driving and you can only hear the sound of the tyres, that automatically qualifies you for the worst sounding car of all time – if the only noise is my own internal thoughts on whether it’s time for me to get a haircut or not, that can’t compete with a V8 now can it?
Contrary to what most people will assume, there are a few noises the Tesla needs to make. Namely to stop pedestrians being run over. However, once again, if a slight hum is the best you have to offer, you deserve your place on the worst sounding cars of all time list.
We all remember the day. After the 2013 Formula 1 season, we saw one of the biggest shake-ups in the power unit rulebook. Formula 1 decided to rip up the engine specifications for a new era. Gone were the days of the rip-snorting 2.4-litre V8 engines that made me physically recoil as I thought my ear drums had been pierced when 22 cars flew past me up Eau Rouge and Raidillon. In came the 1.6-litre V6 hybrid that could barely wake a snoozing cat.
We’ve had to become accustomed to the hybrid engine note as we enter its ninth year, but whenever we hear a pre-hybrid era car, such as the V10 era cars coming to this year’s 78th Members’ Meeting presented by Audrain Motorsport, we’re reminded how poor they sound. Not to be overdramatic, but if you close your eyes and listen to them fly past now, you’d be forgiven for thinking someone was giving the room a once over with the vacuum cleaner.
list
Ford
Mustang
Audi
R10 TDI
Renault
Clio V6