50 shades of car grey
Valentine’s day is here and as the only single member of the Goodwood writing staff I’ve been given the fun task of creating some car related content. As a fan of mundane cars, I’ve seen the perfect opportunity to give them the limelight on this most romantic of days. Everyone else who is in a relationship won’t be reading this so they can’t stop me. ‘What’s the best colour to spec your mundane car?’ I hear you ask. It is of course - grey. Grey is grey, right? WRONG. Thanks to car brands’ marketing teams trying to inject a bit of sex appeal into their colour choices, grey is an entire colour spectrum in itself.
Seeing as I have so much time on my hands being single, I’ve managed to rank the top 50 shades of grey. Disclaimer: I would have written this list regardless of the book ‘50 Shades of Grey’ by E.L James which I discovered just after finalising the rankings.
50. Ford Sea grey
I’m kicking off the list with the classic Ford Sea grey. Those of you that have a Ford in Sea grey can now brag to your friends you’re in the top 50.
49. BMW Ascot grey
Most famously appearing on the E21.
48. Audi Nardo grey
Nardo grey is Gen Z Audi Terra grey.
47. Audi Terra grey
Audi Terra grey is the Millennial’s Classic grey.
46. Land Rover Zambesi grey
Low ranked because it’s too light for a Defender.
45. Ferrari Grigio Squalo
Just wrong on a prancing horse.
44. Skoda Metallic Quartz grey
Grey disguised as dark blue. Wannabe grey.
43. Nissan Precision grey
Are you still reading?
42. Ford Stealth grey
Who specs a Focus RS in this? Poor judgement.
41. Porsche Chalk grey
Of all the Porsche colour choices, you land on this?
40. Audi Oolong grey
Oolong? Seriously?
39. Ferrari Grigio Medio
Green for those who are in denial.
38. Audi Graphite grey
No one specs this. It’s just the one they deliver as your company car.
37. BMW Individual Silver Grey metallic
Poor man’s blue.
36. Ford Iris grey
The Ford Grand C-Max’s little black dress.
35. Audi Suzuka grey
White for people who can’t face reality.
34. Porsche Stone grey
Clearly olive green.
33. Audi Quantum grey
Thinking man’s Nardo grey.
32. BMW Grigio Telesto
Trying to be Italian. Failed.
31. Porsche grey black
Is it grey or is it black? MAKE UP YOUR MIND.
30. Audi Typhoon grey
Typhoon? Stop trying to make grey exciting.
29. Porsche Volcano grey
See above.
28. BMW Sparkling Graphite
A lot of extra words for grey
27. Ford Magnetic grey
*Shrugs*
26. Porsche Fashion grey
It doesn’t make it fashionable if you just call it ‘Fashion.’
25. Honda Polished Metal
Half way and I’ve never felt so alone.
24. BMW Silver Grey
Silver masquerading as grey.
23. Audi Kemora Grey
Blue for posers.
22. Land Rover Pennine grey
Maybe it’s because I do content like this that I’m single?
21. Ferrari Grigio Silverstone Opaco
Pretentious Grigio Silverstone.
20. Ferrari grigio Silverstone
Actually, it's still just grey.
19. Skoda Meteor grey
Nardo grey on a budget. I respect that.
18. Porsche Meteor grey
Same as above, just looks better on a Porsche.
17. Skoda Business grey
The first in this list that isn’t pretending to be something it’s not. Business grey for business time.
16. Mazda Liquid silver
Not sure how Mazda thinks it can get away with calling this grey ‘silver.’
15. Land Rover Cambrian grey
We’re starting to get into the business end now and Cambrian grey can hold its own any day of the week.
14. Porsche Slate grey
Boring name. Looks smart.
13. Ferrari Grigio Granito
Slapped onto a Ferrari 812 Superfast and I now like grey.
12. Porsche Agate grey
It’s grey.
11. Audi Dolphin grey
Bonus points for appearing on the 2001 Audi S3.
10. Ford Magnum grey
It’s only this high because it donned the Ford Focus ST170.
9. Audi Nano grey
This scrapes into the top 10 because one of our photographers would be heart-broken if it was lower. He actually scoured the classifieds looking for an Audi S1 in Nano grey. He thinks it makes it more valuable. It does not.
8. Land Rover Westminster grey
Included so the government doesn’t investigate me.
7. BMW Derby grey
Appeared on the BMW 2002. Enough said.
6. Ferrari Grigio Scuro
Appeared on the Ferrari LaFerrari. Enough said.
5. Audi Daytona grey
A top 5 grey. Really grey.
4. Porsche Quartzite grey
If you’ve made it this far, I know the reason why you’re single as well.
3. BMW Bristol grey
Another grey to have appeared on the BMW 2002, but it’s slightly nicer than Derby grey.
2. Ferrari Canna di Fucile
Ferrari Gunmetal grey basically.
1. Land Rover Welsh grey
Welsh grey takes the number one spot to cheer myself up. If you don’t like it, you can make your own ranked list of greys.
Valentine's Day
Audi
Honda
Porsche
Ferrari
BMW
Skoda
Land Rover
Ford
Mazda
