Growing a moustache is easy for some men (and my nan). In the testosterone filled sport of F1, you’d expect to see moustaches left, right and centre, but they aren’t the regular feature you’d expect. Maybe it’s the commitment to being as streamlined as possible, maybe a soup strainer whilst driving at 200mph isn’t a distraction an F1 driver needs, but it’s probably that the combination of being an F1 driver and having a thick ‘tache makes them irresistible to pretty much everyone they meet. No-one can handle that level of adoration.
However, there are a handful of very successful drivers who’ve braved the top lip welcome mat, and some… with less success. With the important Movember campaign approaching, let me take you on a guided tour of the rather niche world of the best Formula 1 moustaches.
Before I kick off the best ‘tache attempts in F1, I need to just get a dishonourable mention out of the way. Similar to his current form, Danny Ricciardo’s attempt is not great. During the 2014 US GP, the Australian adopted a brave cowboy moustache as some sort of tribute to the Texas locals. I’m sorry to say it, but it didn’t quite cut the mustard. It lacked a certain level of substance and falls short of the list. Sorry Daniel. You’ll have plenty of time to work on it next year.
Kicking off the proper list is everyone’s favourite second driver, Vettel. In his Ferrari days Sebastian grew a strong ‘80s drug dealer ‘tache and we’re not sure why, but it just worked.
He’s been quite experimental with his hair over the years, but this one was a winner.
Alonso at Ferrari should have been a match made in heaven, but despite some incredible efforts, he never managed to bring home the F1 title. One thing he did bring home was the award for the ‘most dastardly moustache the grid has ever seen’. There is a hint of beard here which does hold Fernando back a little from appearing higher up the list.
In at number seven is Valtteri with his proper Scandinavian broom. Everyone tuning into the 2020 Emilia Romagna GP would have immediately experienced weak knees as they laid their eyes upon Bottas’ face bush. Not only was it a treat for the eyes, but a treat for the heart as it was to raise awareness for the Movemeber movement. Bravo Valtteri.
The son of a dairy farmer, Jo Siffert must have grown up with a constant milk moustache. As he grew up and moved away from the family home, it seems his top lip felt very lonely, so he grew this devilish top lip toupée.
Clay dabbled on and off with his incredibly bushy moustache over the years, but I think we can all agree, that moustache was a winner. It’s a very ‘70s style ‘tache but that only adds to the legend.
Look at it. Soak it in. Keke Rosberg was not only the inspiration for the Bottas ‘tache, he is also one of the coolest drivers to have ever lived. Is that because of his facial hair? Hard to say. He also benefits from consistently driving beautiful looking cars, but we can’t look past that ‘tache.
There’s no question about it, Graham Hill is right up there with the coolest drivers to ever enter the sport. Despite not passing his driving test until the age of 24, he’s the only man to ever win the Triple Crown of Motorsport. However, that pales in comparison to his achievements in the upper lip category. His strong resemblance to Wacky Racer’s Dick Dastardly and ability to walk into the James Bond villain role cements his moustache in the hall of fame.
Number two!? A lot of the moustache aficionados out there may be wondering how Ertl isn’t in the top spot, but let me explain. Quite clearly, Ertl’s facial hair is of biblical proportions. The reason he hasn’t taken the highly sought-number one spot is that he’s combined the curly moustache with an equally strong beard. That isn’t in the spirit of this list. The other reason is that the number one spot was always taken…
Am I being biased because I got to meet my hero at this year’s Goodwood Festival of Speed presented by Mastercard? Well, maybe. However, I’d argue that the thick bristles of Il Leone’s top lip are and will forever remain the greatest moustache F1, nay, the world has ever seen. He also had the foresight to store two spare ‘taches above his eyes just in case of an emergency.
Images courtesy of Motorsport Images.
Formula 1
F1
Nigel Mansell
Harald Ertl
Graham Hill
Keke Rosberg
Clay Regazzoni
Jo Siffert
Valtteri Bottas
Fernando Alonso
Sebastian Vettel
Daniel Ricciardo